Apparently you make a good broom.
He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college?
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
I woke up with a dick pic from the ex-Mormon via email. Not really what I wanted to see before my first cup of coffee this morning, but I gotta say, I'm impressed.
I want a shirt that says, "I'm sorry for the things I said when it was Taco Tuesday"
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
You can't say that. Only if you have peed on the side of the highway in daylight while signing Christmas songs can you say that.
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
Randomize
