Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
I was speaking french the whole night. Until i got arrested. Then I decided I should probably start speaking English.
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
She had YOLO tattooed on her ass. Like, one cheek said YO, the other said LO. Even I can't handle that level of hot mess.
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Randomize
