I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
The guy had great intentions when throwing us free beer off the balcony... but of course I was the one to get hit in the face because that's the kind of luck I have
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
Some old bald man is a 100,000 dollar Audi sports car just revved his engine at me and held out his phone at me trying to get my number. I hate the valley.
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
Fun fact: deep throating plus dehydration plus eating a lot of citrus = my throat is fucked. Metaphorically and physically.
Randomize
