Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing
Currently emptying half-full wine bottles from fridge into my mouth and refilling with water for later. Drunk survivalist recycling!
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
Randomize
