Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
She kept saying 'I love you' but i couldn't tell if she was talking to me or to her beer.
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
Dude. Once again. Cleaning house. Found weed I hid from myself a month ago. Celebrating/testing it out. if i dont text back in 10, call dominos.
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
This drunk lesbian I just met keeps trying to shove sushi in my mouth. Help.
Trust me, dating 38 and 20 year old dudes at the same time is the best. Money plus all of the sex. Finally figured out this relationship thing.
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
Randomize
