ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
I woke up this morning at 8 to my roommates still drunk, hanging out on the roof, and screaming at bikers. They couldn't figure out why they were into it.
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
I just conveyed my whole sex life to my mom over voicemail. Anddd, I'm hammered.
Top night. Top night.
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
You declared that afternoon sex will be referred to as "wet naps" from now on
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
Randomize
