i hope you realize that ur overconfidence only gave me one orgasm out of all the times we had sex. that's like a 1% success rate. u might wanna rethink how amazing you are.
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
Breakfast-of-shame with my mother. I was in half of a sexy Mad Hatter costume. We had artisan bagels and judgement.
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
What's the point of bringing a Jack and Coke to work if my boss is just gonna piss and moan about me day drinking again?
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
The only people who will bring me pizza or tacos want a commitment and I'm hungry for food not their love.
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
Randomize
