Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
Driving a mountain pass in the middle of a blizzard with the worst vodka gummybear hangover ever is gods way of telling me to keep the black-outing within a 15 mile radius to my house.
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
I have a present for you
Like a legit gift, not just me showing up and getting naked
I tried to bring you in when you passed out on the porch but all you said was that I "ruined your hope ands dreams of becoming an astronaut"
I got copblocked.
What?
Cockblocked. By a cop. Copblocked.
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
I just learned that the grill marks on a Burger King burger patty are actually previously burnt on there with a radioactive spray-on liquid and McDonald's french fries are actually 5% potato.
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