my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
Sorry about my life...
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
So I just got motorboated by my grandma…
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
Randomize
