Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
he obviously didn't care that i was sleeping and dreaming about ellen degeneres knitting me a christmas sweater.
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
I think I have vodka in my lungs
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
Come home, I'm drunk on the porch and pretending to smoke breadsticks like cigarettes. Enticing, right?
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
Okay. Did I say I did anything unusual? Because I usually do weird stuff. Did I clean mirrors? My mirrors are really clean, and I think I remember having windex..
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