we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
I should not be allowed to be in possession of a fifth and a phone at the same time.
I'm sorry I couldn't bail you out, apparenty they dont take credit cards over the phone. Did you at least make any friends in jail?
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
Randomize
