that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
I probably shouldn't have followed up that rainbow sherbet with beef jerky. This is a whole new level of fat, even for me.
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
Apparently, my drunken 3AM idea of safety is to send a GPS map of my location to someone 700 miles away. Seriously considering death as a viable alternative to this hangover. Death or Yuengling.
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
Brandon's Recipe: two parts cocoa, one part sugar, one part milk, two parts four, 378 parts paranoia. Thanks for the fucking brownies, bitch.
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
Randomize
