i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
My text messages all automatically add Zs on them cause of your skank ass messages you send me
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
I know it's not your turn to do the dishes, but since they're covered in your puke, it is.
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
Really dude? drunk texts at 9 in the morning? its wednesday
Randomize
