So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
Not only did I see you last night, you had me help you meet women by convincing them you were deaf and only I understood your sign language
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
I just figured out the time exactly by how many shots and beers that I've had since this morning. I either have a terrible problem, or a great solution.
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
My greatest achievement in life thus far is being the go to friend when you have questions about butt plugs.
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
Randomize
