youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
Nothing like snapchatring dick pics to a\nMarried woman while your girlfriend destroys Taco Bell in the next room. Almost caught, worth it. Got boobs back
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
Grindr hookup awareness: always make sure that you agree to blow one person and they aren't bringing a Friend/boyfriend. Shits weird when you're sober.
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
Randomize
