Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
i'm sick of coming in second next to bourbon.
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
There is not enough whiskey in the world to get me through what happened on Pretty Little Liars tonight.
First world problems.
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
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