New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
Okay: Whipped cream, vodka, and a trampoline. This will either be really great, or really tragic.
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
Randomize
