FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
Those motion detector trash cans don't work fast enough to catch puke.
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
I should start an etsy shop with all the jewelry and clothes women leave at my house
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
you're the one asking for my vibrator at 4 in the morning so reconsider your life
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
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