We need to rekindle our bromance
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
I want to ride that like one of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse- with bourbon in hand and without mercy.
Randomize
