I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
Just found out that his ringtone for me is a train blowing bc and I quote 'I know when you call I'm getting laid'
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
For 15 minutes straight, he literally did every accent there was, from Russian to Bostonian. The issue: no one could determine whether he was sober, wasted, or anywhere in between
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
Randomize
