I got drunk and applied for two credit cards last night. About to find out if anyone in this world is still dumb enough to give me credit.
Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
i'm having taco bell mild sauce and tums for breakfast because i'm hungover and thats all i can find. it's like thanksgiving up in here
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
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