Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
I'm at Lowes and I'm constantly looking for things to vomit in, just in case
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
everyone thought he was too sick to make it, but he showed up. Ten minutes in and he's doing vodka shots with nyquil chasers
trading diseases for a hangover? that's either a really good decision or a really, really bad one. we'll find out if he wakes up tomorrow
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
Did we kick in my basement door last night?
Yes. I think you actually bought tennis shoes specifically for that application.
Are you drunk? You left me a voicemail at 5:59 AM of you making dolphin sounds.
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
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