Hindsight: maybe I should have included a few transitional texts in between talking about your son and my need to have sex. Do over?
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
ATMs should seriously have built in breathalysers, I would save so much money.
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
He asked me to coffee and I had no choice but to be honest. So naturally I told him that sobriety and monogomy are not two of my strong suits.
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
I made my own utility belt like Batman. It has a cup holder for my beer, cell phone holder, a little pocket for condoms, and a sewing kit just in case.
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
I got St Patrick's Day drunk on Friday and apparently ordered a Total Gym in the middle of the night
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
His nipple licking is glorious
Randomize
