I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
just tell him he has love handles, he'll die of insecurity
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
There is a girl in my drunk limo who hasn't seen an uncircumcised penis. Hook me up with a picture.
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
I don't know what part of my sober brain thought it was a good idea to get stoned when I can barely walk with crutches as it is, but that part is stupid.
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
Randomize
