He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
Rubbed one out while on hold to buy tickets to Disneyland. Feel simultaneously like a freak and strangely productive.
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
I walked into the kitchen and twelve of them were just staring at the oven. Freshmen are the weirdest drunks ever.
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
Not to make this awkward, but if we ever have sex (perhaps drunkenly), all i'm gonna be able to think about is how sexy our kids would be.
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
Randomize
