well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable...
hell hath no fury like a questionably-gay best friend scorned
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
When you wake up with a bow tie and mustache drawn on your penis, you know you had a good night.
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife 😬
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
Randomize
