He just told me he would murder a thousand dolphins to be with me. Quite the charmer.
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
Today I had sex and flossed at the same time. My relationship goals have been exceeded.
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
Why did I wake up next to the fire pit? And who wrapped me up like a burrito?
Jägerbombs. Thank Sara.
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
Sorry I bailed on you yesterday. I was propositioned.
And you don't turn down margaritas and oral.
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