doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
...there was a woman in the stall next to me in the Walmart bathroom having a massive bowl movement and whispering "I'm sorry" over and over
A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
Joke’s on you. I got to talk to a furry about why nukes are bad and why musicals are good.
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
Randomize
