He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
i tried to get you to come inside, but you insisted on throwing up in the flowers "because they're pretty."
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
Doing tequila shots with my ex to celebrate that we broke up... not awkward at all.
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
When we left, you were on your third beer. When we came back to grab you, you had a pint glass half full of whiskey and had convinced the band to give you a microphone.
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
QUIT STEALING MY PHONE AND SEXTING MY MOM!!!!
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