She vajazzled her vag. It was as useless as putting earrings on chewbacca
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
Say what you will, but only I can throw up on someone's door and make it look like art.
That's the last time I'm letting you drink that apple vodka
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
Jesus I should have learned from my first marriage not to get married again
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
Did you put my shoes in the freezer.
Nope. I did however put them in the kiddie pool you pissed in in the living room before Tyler put them in the freezer. Ass hole.
Randomize
