i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
DRUNK CANOEING
Please text me if you survive.
LAND HO BITCH
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
I've been laying here all day wondering why my back hurt so bad and then I remembered last night.... When you pushed me through that glass table.
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
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