i asked him to tell me something nice and he said "your vagina is really tight."
Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
I just banged that chick from the bar by speaking french. all i had to do was recite my grocery list
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
no i'm going to the dr today, he fucking banshee-shrieked in my ear as he was coming and now i can't hear out of it
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
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