last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
I accidentally asked my mom for a blowjob because 'mom' and 'molly' are next to each other in my address book.
I just rubbed my dick on something in your apartment. Can you guess what?
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
I owe you an apology, I was appointed captain of this sexy fuckship and I fell asleep at the helm.
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
Randomize
