wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
She went from zero to smokin in five shots
sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
I had a terrible day! The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing Jack Bauers day was worse.
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
Observations from Vegas: #1. Strippers pasties pose a choking hazard. #2. Best. Heimlich. Ever.
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
Randomize
