I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
I woke up in my girlfriends bed with another guy laying next to me. wtf.
you broke a plate. told her her wedding china was ugly and you were doing her a favor. then proceeded to break every plate you could get your hands on.
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
We didn't have sex because he locked himself in the bathroom and passed out while he was taking a shit. I cuddled with his cat.
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
my mom just said "if you had sex with someone you don't really like I'm going to be so mad at you" HOW DOES EVERYBODY KNOW
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
Well he was mad because I chose tequila over him. He obviously doesn't understand that he will always be second to my first true love.
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
THE FASTEST WAY TO MY HEART IS THROUGH FAMILY SIZED BAGS OF GENERIC BRAND CHEESE BALLS
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
The waitress at the Denny's in usa remembered me from 2 years ago when we went at 4 in the morning plastered, wearing overalls and huge inflatable corona hats on our heads
Randomize
