i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
Sudden realization: I dumped him because he was too immature, yet I am the one who moved back into my parent's basement post-breakup.
There're making snowcones with the leftover vodka from last night. This is not the time to be making up excuses!
I don't remember its real name, I just call it the Harrison Ford Cush after that idea with the Indiana Jones mask. I should just get high and sell people my ideas for their Halloween costumes all the time. I'd make a fucking fortune.
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
You know what I'm hearing? Blah, blah, blah, I have pneumonia, blah, blah, blah, I'm a quitter. COME OVER AND PUT YOUR PENIS INSIDE ME.
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
you know, i'm always afraid you're going to think i only want you for sex because i only text you when i'm horny
speaking of, guess what i'm thinking about
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
Randomize