ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
I woke up at 5 this morning face down on my bed with gummy bears stuffed in my leggings. Yeah.
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
Definitely just blazed with the housekeeper. That woman needs a raise
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
We left an ass print on the piano.
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
Thankfully US customs doesnt have a checkbox for bringing semen into the country because my hair would still be in CDC quarantine
Remember when we partied so hard that dude died and it cockblocked you hooking up with my sister?
I forgot that happened. That's the second dude that died on a vacation I've been on
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
I have fence marks all over my body
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
Randomize
