another moral hangover. fuck.
Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
I'm eating tomato paste and drinking banana juice that is expired. Can we please get groceries tonight?
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
Just a heads up that Dad just brought home a new Porsche and the sales girl he bought it from.
Umm okay. What are they doing?
They’re in the hot tub
Can I get divorced when I grow up?
Randomize
