My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
Every time I'm hungover I just want to watch Harry Potter and cry.
Any idea why my ass cheeks are bruised again?
The fact that theyre bruised AGAIN means you're not adult enough to know why.
Why is there a wet sock in my garbage? Why did I chug so much red wine? Why was someone signing into my iCloud account at 4 am in China? Why do I do self-destructive reckless things? So many questions.
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
Intoxication Level: I'm as graceful and flawless as a fucking dinosaur.
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
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