I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
I wish there was a morning after pill that made you instantly sober
I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
EW FUCK GROSS GODDAMMIT I WENT DOWNSTAIRS AND MY GODDAMN BROTHER WAS FINGERING SOME GIRL ON THE FLOOR DOESN'T HE KNOW HE FUCKING LIVES WITH PEOPLE
I shouldn't have to tell you to stop throwing knives at me.
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home
I woke up and found my apartment really clean, appearantly drunk me couldn't tolerate living there anymore and left sober me a lot of insulting post-its...
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
Randomize
