Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
Let's make this a nightly thing. You'll explain the Watergate scandal like you're telling me a bedtime story while I eat popcorn high as fuck
It’s a good thing I’m the only one in the office today. My boy toy stopped by and now there is jiz all over my desk and couch
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