I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
Remember back in the day when getting fingered in the movie theater was the best thing ever?
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
nothin like your phone freezing up and sending out old booty calls at 11am on a sunday. fml.
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
Randomize
