I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
Amanda, I can 99.9% assure you i'm probably never going to bang your mom
I DON'T LIKE THAT SENTENCE
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
This can only be settled by a dance off.
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