Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
You tried tipping the cashier at Cook Out by shoving a dollar bill down his shirt and yelling "Magic Mike"
You got in the cab and told the cab driver "we only have seven bucks so you better drive fucking fast".
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
I feel kind of like we’re in a gang and tonight is one of those “people are gonna know not to fuck with us” type of nights. And then tomorrow I am going to learn to pole dance. I’m not really sure how I got to this point in my life… but I like it.
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
Randomize
