I was taking a piss and started puking. I pissed myself and made a mess in the bathroom. Passed out, then got up and went back out from 11pm to 5am.
I changed 4 diapers and slept horribly in our hot apt. Now, I'm at my inlaws house watching the Rangers get pummeled. Oh how our lives differ.
it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
note to self: an IV pole is no substitute for a stripper pole. Written it on my ankle cast.
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
A guy just walked down the street dressed as Mickey Mouse holding a 40oz. Where the hell did you leave me?
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
Randomize
