he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
Hello and welcome to the game 'Matt needs weed'! Rules are simple: first one to find a bag wins the fabulous prize of getting stoned with yours truly. Thank you for playing and good luck!!
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
In last nights drunken stupor i apparently purchased a luxury travel package for two to Australia. So uh...get a passport and clear your schedule for next month
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
First time since we broke up that I'm not drunk before noon...win for broken hearts everywhere
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
Last night I dreamed that I got eaten out by Lego Harry Potter.
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
Randomize
