i think my tv is drunk
ugly people sure do ruin things
I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
I feel like im in a tornado of daylight savings, tequila and death
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
I've hit an all time low of asking baristas what would go good with marshmallow vodka. I think I might hire one to party with all of us. To make hangover drinks
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?
I'm too drunk to make ramen. What the fuck is this.
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