He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
I don't think my arm is broken I can still text
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
The thing about being single is like Sunday morning sex is nice but so is Sunday morning eating Nutella from the jar in your underwear
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
Randomize