she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
Just had a horrible realization. I've fucked a guy with a webbed foot AND a guy with a third nipple.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
I never thought I'd have to apologize for tasting like absinthe and cheetos before tonight
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
Randomize
