Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
He's upstairs shouting 'FUCK OFF I'M IN MY MOTHERFUCKING ZEN ZONE' out of the window.
Just googled "penis wearing a hat" i think it's safe to say nobody found my ex's lost phone...
Can't. Busy recovering from the worst pulled muscle of my life that I got either from excessively acrobatic boning or carrying a huge fucking ice luge down the street while wearing 4 inch heels
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
My neighbor is burning all of her ex's things in a metal drum outside the window. Guess who's going to make a new friend?
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
I could be doing way worse things besides texting him 'come over and bang my headache away'. i could be on meth
Randomize
