miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
Its Friday night, and I'm sitting at home watching are you smarter then a 5th grader, drinking vodka. I got every single question wrong. Clearly you see where I'm headed in life.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
my hand froze to the top of can of beer cuz i fell asleep outside. i decided to find a way to open the bottom of the can before addressing my severe frostbite. PRIORITIES!
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
Randomize
