you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
I want you to read this conversation tomorrow and be proud of the fact that you taught me how to decipher any drunk message. Good job.
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
I am gifting my birthday sex to you, but its okay because I can always just have birthday vibrator.
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
Randomize
