I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
I only make drug deals in a British accent. It's my way of making sure it doesn't get too sketch.
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
Woke up this morning with seven juice boxes under my pillow and an empty box of condoms In my pocket. Good night.
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
Randomize
