I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
You're the only person I know who can be puking into a trash can at 8 in the morning in Manhattan and get a date out of it....
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
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