Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
you used progresso chicken soup as a mixer last night
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
As girls, Bert & Ernie are not very bangable costumes. At least not by who we'd want to get banged by.
I was kidding. But I promise you I'd still find us the most eligible bangables, even if we dressed up like a dumpster and a prom night baby.
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
Randomize
