my breakfast just consisted of gushers (made with real fruit!) and they're trying to tell me im not eating right?
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
We need a bunch of roses, some chocolate, 2 cops, a mariachi band, and a thermometer
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
The hardest part about being a child of divorce is when you're at your dad's house but your condoms are at your mom's house.
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
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