Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
On Saturday, I sharted on my roommates dog while trying to make it smell my farts. Today I got security clearance to work for one of the most respected and secretive govt agencies in the US
It's the American dream
if only i could text you this smell
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
Dude, a dry wedding reception should nullify the vows, because really, without the booze, you might as well be 5 years old again and playing dress-up
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
This whole situation could've been avoided if you would've just let me open the beer
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
Do you think they make a "sorry in my drunken debauchery I dropped a pumpkin off the balcony and you happened to be standing right there/get well soon" card?
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
Randomize
