Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
I'm done trying to be a vegetarian. My vagina smells like hummus.
there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
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i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
so, i guess i gotta chill on showing up to work hungover... someone anonymously left a bible in my work mailbox (no one else got one)
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
Randomize
