the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
I talked a bachelorette party out of a 4 person bucket of long islands, and drank it by myself. Please call me a taxi. The fat brides maid just grabbed my cock
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
I wish I could rewind to my 8th birthday instead. I wanna wake up, eat as much cake as I want, and have a Transformers birthday party without someone judging me.
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
Randomize
